What is life like if you or someone in your family has mental health problems? And what can your parish do to make a difference?  

A leaflet to help pastors, parish pastoral councils and welcoming teams. 

  A large print MS Word version of the leaflet for printing on to off-white or pale yellow paper

Visit the Day For Life 2008 website: This year's focus is Mental Health

Since this page was developed a small working group has continued to meet to focus on the pastoral support of families experiencing mental ill-health in their midst. Read their newsletters to find out more about their work.

Mental Health Newsletter 3 (March 2008)

Mental Health Newsletter 2 (August 2007)

Mental Health Newsletter 1 (February 2007)

Making Everybody Welcome: Families, Mental Health and Pastoral Care in the Catholic Community. A Diocese of Hallam event. April 12th 2008. St Wilfrid's Centre, Sheffield.

A Day of Reflection on Mental Health. An Archdiocese of Cardiff event. Llantarnam Abbey. February 24th 2008

Read and listen to reports of a national training and awareness day: Making Everybody Welcome: Pastoral Care and Mental Health in the Catholic community held on October 20th 2007 at the Britannia Hotel, Wolverhampton

What is Life Like?
Challenges for the Parish
Practical Actions
Prayer and Liturgical Opportunities
Helpful Resources

What is Life Like? | Back to top

I came home, ‘I can’t work any more’.  I was suffering from anxiety depression.  Soon my wife, Liz and I experienced extreme isolation.  Several parishioners said to her, ‘I would not stay with him’.   Priests and friends said ‘We can not visit any more.  There is too much pain here’. “Why can’t he pull himself together?”        

“I’m in a black tunnel. The light at the end is dimmer. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live like this. Help me, Mam,” my daughter pleads. I feel helpless. There must be other families going through this. Where are they? I feel so empty and broken. Where are you God?

My husband suffers from mental illness. I contacted my priest to explain my family situation. He said he could not offer any support. My husband had previously contacted him during an episode of illness, so he was not happy with us. My children did not attend Catholic school or receive any other sacraments. This makes me feel guilty and very sad.

One day he snapped and became abusive and violent during Mass. We had to obtain professional advice and work with the priest and parishioners to bring about reconciliation with those who had been hurt.

Although his behaviour was sometimes unpredictable the priest let him read at Mass. An ambition fulfilled! After that he felt able to shake hands with parishioners at the sign of peace – acceptance given and respect shown!

Challenges for the Parish| Back to top

“In our parishes, people are not coming to the Altar of the Lord because they suffer from mental illness and do not feel accepted.”
                               
Those who suffer from mental illness (and their carers) experience isolation and lack of support from their parish. 1 in 5 suffer from mental illness but most of us have very little understanding of what it is like or the effect it has on the carer and their family.

Even among Catholics there is stigma concerning mental health which can create feelings of unworthiness and reluctance to share the truth that a family member is suffering. So what can parishes do? Here are some ideas:

• Form a mental health pastoral support group. Invite people who are sensitive to the needs and who have personal or professional experience.

• Commit to showing that the parish cares about those with mental illness and their families through concrete activities. Be especially alert to the voices of the isolated.

• Raise awareness and create sensitivity in the parish perhaps by organising an open evening (where at least two people share their experience) or invite someone to speak at a Sunday Mass.

• Establish what local professional resources are available including Christian Counsellors. Have a list of useful numbers to hand and on the parish noticeboard.  

• Set up a spiritual and friendship group for sufferers, carers and their families as appropriate. 

• Create links with local schools to ensure a confidential exchange of information when this is appropriate.

• Ensure that appropriate language is used by people and in print within the parish

The Association of Pastoral Care in Mental Health website contains guidance for many of these activities. Also contact your Everybody’s Welcome diocesan coordinator

Practical Actions| Back to top

Home-centred care

• Offer a listening ministry
• Bring the Eucharist or simply pray
• Find out how the parish can help, no matter how small a need:
    “Someone walked to Mass with me every day.”

Parish-centred care

• Arrange regular healing services for sufferers and their carers
• Involve them in the Sunday liturgy
• Mention sufferers and carers in the prayers of intercession
• Be prepared to accept unusual behaviour in church

Community-focussed care

• Keep the Church open as much as possible as a place of peace
• Encourage community groups to use Church facilities for meetings

Prayer and Liturgical Opportunities| Back to top

Scripture
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Matt 27:46)

Do not be afraid for I have redeemed you (Isaiah 43:1)

Come to me all you who are weary and over burdened and I will give you rest. (Matt 11:28)

Do not be afraid for I am with you: stop being anxious and watchful, for I am your God. I brought you from the ends of the earth, you to whom I said, “You are my servant, I have chosen you, not rejected you, do not be afraid, for I am with you; stop being anxious and watchful, for I am your God   (Isaiah 41: 9-10)

Without beauty and majesty we saw him, no looks to attract our eyes; a thing despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering, a man to make people screen their faces; he was despised and we took no account of him. (Isaiah 53: 9-10)

I know the plans I have in mind for you - plans for peace and not disaster, reserving a future full of hope for you.   Then you will call to me....I will listen to you. When you seek me, you will find me..... (Jeremiah  29: 11-13)

Do not let your hearts be troubled.   Trust in God and trust in me still. (John 14:1)

Peace I give you, my own peace I give you, a peace the world cannot give, this is my gift to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid (John 14:27 & Matt 25 :31-46)

Prayers:

When M was at his lowest, he used to pray:

Lord at your lowest you said, “My God, My God: why have you forsaken me?”  I believe the Father was with you then.  Help me to realise that you are with me now. Amen

Lord Jesus, You were despised and rejected by people.  You were “a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering”.  You understand my painful situation.  I place it all in your hands.  Help me to know that you are here alongside me now.  Amen.

May people affected in any way by mental illness, know that the Lord is there alongside them, sharing their pain and suffering, and may the Church be there too. Amen

Poems:

To find you Lord in the leaf that falls,
in the tree in winter
the sparkle of sun in a rain drop
to see you Lord in the coming of spring
the green shoot above the soil
the cracking of ice in the pond
in the warmth that comes in the air
of new life beginning in me. [anonymous]

Footprints

I said to the man
who stood at the gate of the year
“Give me a light
that I may tread safely
into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness
and out your hand
into the hand of God.
That shall be to you
better than light
and safer than a known way. [Minnie L. Haskins]

Peace
When will you ever, Peace, wild wood dove, shy wings shut,
Your round me roaming end, and under be my boughs?
When, when, Peace, will you, Peace?   I’ll not play hypocrite
To own my heart: I yield you do come sometimes; but
That piecemeal peace is poor peace. What pure peace allows
Alarms of wars, the daunting wars, the death of it?

O surely, reaving Peace, my Lord should leave in Lieu
Some good!  And so he does leave Patience exquisite,
That plumes to Peace thereafter.  And when Peace here does house
He comes with work to do, he does not come to coo,
He comes to brood and sit.   [Gerard Manley Hopkins]

Verses from hymns can help -

Do not be afraid for I have redeemed you, 
I have called you by your name, you are mine

Be glad the day you have sorrow
Be glad for then you live
The stars shine only in darkness
And in your need, I give my peace.

Helpful Resources| Back to top

Helplines
Samaritans 0845 7909090
Saneline     0845 7678000
Young Minds Parents’ Information Service 08000 182138
Rethink Advice Service   020 89746814

Web sites
www.rethink.org/
www.carersinthecommunity.org.uk
www.youngminds.org.uk/pis/      
www.sane.org.uk/
www.mind.org.uk/  
www.caritas-socialaction.org.uk

Documents
Promoting Mental Health: A Resource for Spiritual and Pastoral Care.  Church of England Web site.
Association for Pastoral Care in Mental Health: various leaflets
What is Severe Mental Illness available from Rethink
NHS Trust newspapers for local support groups - obtainable doctors’ surgeries.

Books:
Caring and Coping published by Rethink
Carers in the Community   Edna Hunneysett
Living with Schizophrenia   John Watkins
Spirituality and Ageing.  Albert Jewell (ed), published by Jessica Kingsley 1999
In a Strange Land - People with Dementia and the Local Church 
Malcolm Goldsmith 4M Publications
God of Surprises. Gerard W Hughes. Darton, Longman & Todd 1996
God, Where are You? Gerard W. Hughes. Darton, Longman & Todd 1997 

Catholic Church
Diocesan Marriage and Family Life Co-ordinators
Bishop’s Committee for Health and Healing (Diocese of Clifton)