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Family Sensitive Approaches to Parish Life: October 21st 2007, Britannia Hotel, Wolverhampton. | Ten Ways to Think About How Family-Sensitive We Are | Interview with Roberta CanningFamily Sensitive Approaches to Parish Life: A workshop to deepen the sprit of welcome in parishes into family-friendliness.The
work of Everybody’s Welcome continues with a half-day workshop on
October 21st 2007 to explore what it means to be a
family-sensitive parish. Very often parishes who are already welcoming or
who have completed the Ministry of Welcome programme have asked us ‘what
next?’ So we are delighted to welcome Janette Davidson from
Directions to the Britannia Hotel
Roberta: It seems to me that a sensitive perspective on being family is an important part of becoming welcoming, inclusive, open hearted parish communities and Church and it should be a characteristic of all our statements. At its heart is a welcome to every person at their stage on their faith journey and affirmation and acceptance of all families, so that we do not give the impression that there are first and second class families and members of the Church or parish community.
Roberta: Anyone who has read the report on Listening 2004 will know that most of it is written in families' own words. I've listed just a few of the quotes that underline for me why the follow up work is so crucial: "[their] hopes from the church are for acceptance, being there, belonging. It is clear that all this means that people, relationships, friendships come first, then services, then teaching." "When it works, Church is massively successful and important to people. When it does not, it is massively wounding." "There seemed to be a lot of bewildered and hurt people trying to bring their children up in the Catholic Faith despite feeling alienated from it themselves." "Adopting a non-judgmental approach to difficult situations and increasing affirmation for the holiness of everyday life."
Roberta: First and foremost this is about the language we use and the mind and heart set it reveals. We can put in place all the strategies for welcome and being family friendly: the pile of nappies in the toilet, the area within the church where toddlers can move a bit, the children's liturgy etc and it may make some difference, but in the end it will be the messages we convey ourselves in word and action, and the words from the ambo which will decide whether people feel welcome or pushed out. The message has to come in the context of affirmation and respect for the struggles of parents and their loving commitment to their children.
Roberta: I think we need to be aware that in telling the goodness of marriage and family life we may make others feel discouraged and inadequate, if not failures. I also think it is interesting that inter-church families complained that they were not treated as a family, with the parents sharing the vocation to marriage and parenthood and both sharing responsibility for the Christian education of their children; they said the non-Catholic partner often felt marginalised in sacramental preparation meetings. David Wells begins all his video talks with a special welcome to parents who are not Catholics and do not usually come to Church, honouring their concern to do the best for their children. Finally there is an issue around time: we need to remember that this was one of the key problems mentioned by parents and that positive and helpful initiatives can seem overwhelming (even threatening) when people are pressed for time. Q: Where can individuals and parishes go for information about Everybody's Welcome and Celebrating Family? Roberta: All the material that is being collated and developed by the working group - toolkits, questionnaires, real life, tried and tested ways of being more welcoming and so forth - are being made available on the website www.celebratingfamily.org.uk or www.everybodyswelcome.org.uk. Anyone who is interested and has an email address can also sign up for a monthly e-bulletin highlighting what is available as the year unfolds. Just send an email to the Project Officer, Elizabeth Davies at elizabeth.davies@cbcew.org.uk. Many dioceses, like mine, also have a local coordinator who would love to hear from anyone interested in doing something locally. We have a lot of good ideas to share! |
More than ten years after a Bishops' Conference working party recommended "a more sensitive family dimension to existing parish and diocesan activities and services" dioceses across England and Wales are once again encouraging parishes to become more family friendly. January 2006 sees the launch of Everybody's Welcome, the first phase of a three year cycle of collaborative action in response to Listening 2004. Roberta Canning, Coordinator of Family Ministries in the Diocese of Wrexham (and member of the Everybody's Welcome working group) agreed to answer a few questions about just what a family-sensitive approach means, particularly in the light of families' responses during Listening 2004.